I think I may be able to trick myself into actually doing some work…

…by cleverly disguising the first thing on my to do list as a blog post! That way it’s not real work.

As I said before I got my laptop back today after not having it for like five days. I’d previously been putting off all the things I had to do by saying ‘oh, I’ll do it when I have my laptop back, it will be so much easier to work from the comfort of my room.’ Reality is it is so much easier to read websites and other people’s blogs and talk on facebook so much in one night that you have 89 new text notifications from them on your phone and that was only after you gave up on deleting the first twenty odd from the comfort of my room. But lots of things I kept finding amusing and witty kept happening and so I was practically forced to stay on facebook. In fact I’m going to write some here, not because you care, but because one of the best things about keeping a blog is in three years time when I am next procrastinating I can read through my old posts and find all these things witty and amusing all over again. Actually fuck that I can’t be bothered to do that. Maybe another day.

But the first thing I have to do is write a to do list which is hard to do when you don’t have a to do list telling you to make a to do list. I have a lot of shit I need to do. I bought a whiteboard and everything before uni to help me with my lack of organisation/memory but my lack of organisation/memory has caused me to misplace my only whiteboard pen. So now the whiteboard is hanging there glaring at me with four things written on it that are now two weeks out of date. Two of those things I didn’t even do. Sigh. I realise that it being a whiteboard I could just wipe them off so my failure would stop staring at me but I’m masochistic like that. And besides, a blank one would perhaps be even more of a glaring reminder of my ineptitude.

SHINY TO DO LIST OF STUFF TO DO

  • Find out the buildings you have your GEO152 practical and library skills workshops in. THEY ARE HAPPENING TOMORROW SO DO IT NOW.
  • WRITE EMILY HER LETTER BACK! You are a terrible friend, it has been MONTHS now. Do it. This is more important than your degree. Include drawings of dragons and maybe a comic about that time we both finished each others sentences and found it hilarious but no one else will.
  • Do the reading and prep-work for GEO163. You are an intelligent person, this will take all of half an hour-an hour if you could stop reading blogs about cats. You don’t even like cats very much.
  • PRINT OFF THE STUFF YOU NEED TO READ FOR GEO163! Read it. Do the set stuff. It’s due FRIDAY!
  • Do your washing up. At least the stuff you left in the kitchen tonight. Tidy kitchen in general possibly tomorrow.
  • Tidy room so you aren’t embarrassed by it thus can leave your door open thus can socialise better thus also have a better space for doing work (not due to the socialising… due to the clean desk…)
  • GO TO SEE THE FINANCIAL ADVISOR AS YOU STILL DON’T HAVE A BLOODY CLUE WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOUR STUDENT LOAN!
  • Remember you have the doctor’s at 10.30. GET UP AND GO ELSE YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING SICK AGAIN.
  • Get a new uCard.
  • Hand in your yellow sheet so you can bloody get properly registered.
  • Sort out a short term loan because YOU ONLY HAVE £18.90 LEFT TO YOUR NAME. And your prescription tomorrow will take away another £7.20 of that. And you need another new prescription soon.
  • Stop being a self conscious twat and start fucking talking to people.
  • Email your personal tutor about current issues. Remember everything you want to implement concerning current issues so that people know you are actually trying this time.
  • You have an appointment sometime in November that clashes with a lecture. Phone up and change it NOW. It had a long waiting list.
  • Sit and have a mini print fest. Print off lecture notes of missed lectures and upcoming ones in advance for the week ready for you to take notes. Print off reading lists.
  • Make your star chart. It will be worth the effort making it as a gold star will so fucking make you go to lectures.
  • Phone magistrates court to arrange official name change asap.
  • Decide whether or not you actually want to make ‘Cesario’ your middle name.
  • Get a new whiteboard pen, implement fancy to do list. Possibly with different colours. Possibly with different stickers! Oooo you could make like just a big page for stickers and if I do something EPIC like an actual assignment I get a really really awesome sticker, like a really big dinosaur one! And if I do something smaller like some reading for a lecture I can get a smaller sticker like a smiley face! And then I can have this epic collage of stickers to SHOW HOW WELL I AM DOING AT BEING AN ADULT! Mmmm I am sure that is some form of literary device there like irony or juxtaposition or maybe just a big old contradiction but YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS OF MY STICKER GAINING POTENTIAL.
  • Wonder if it’s worrying that I keep switching from first to second person throughout this post.
  • Stop wandering off on tangents so much because now you can’t actually remember what else you had to put on your to do list. Well done. Twat.
  • Don’t insult yourself so much. You are awesome and don’t need that additional stress right now.
  • Stop adding stuff for the sake of it in an attempt to procrastinate actually having to do the first few things on the list and just go do it. You can always come back and edit this later when you remember stuff.
  • Remember you have an appointment with some of the accommodation people friday morning.
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