I hate you. Well probably not hate because to me hate is something all-consuming and exhausting. Perhaps instead I am just very much annoyed by you. Tumblr, you are like a rash. Irritating and everywhere. Apparently you’re an infectious rash too.
Why are you so irritating? Well, you have no substance. You are not creative. You rarely make anything up yourself. Instead, like a good-looking but intellectually stunted teenager you repeat, or should I say reblog, the thoughts, opinions and creations of other people.
Tumblr, you are incapable of expressing yourself. Why? Are you too self-conscious? Too stupid? Too lazy? You give blogs a bad name. Tumblr, you are not a blog! You are the mentally handicapped child of the incestuous relationship between a blog and a social networking site. You are a persistent and annoying child going LOOK AT THIS PICTURE LOOK AT THIS VIDEO over and over again. No I don’t want to look at the picture or the video. Why? Because, Tumblr, they are both shit.
Maybe I am being unnecessarily harsh towards you Tumblr. After all, the internet is full of people showing each other pictures and videos and not being all that interesting or original. Why do I have such a big beef with you Tumblr? And Tumblr, yes, I’ll admit it’s not all your fault. Facebook holds 3% of the blame.
Tumblr, I hate you because you have infected Facebook. Why couldn’t you have just sat and stayed as your own website? I would never have heard of you. I would have been happy. Why couldn’t you leave Facebook alone? You have no right to be there. Twitter has a right to be there. I may not understand Twitter but at least someone’s status update via Twitter is likely to be more interesting than A PICTURE OF A FUCKING FLOWER THAT YOU DIDN’T EVEN TAKE YOURSELF! True I could hide all posts from you on Facebook, but then I may miss the 1% of posts you make that are actually interesting.
Tumblr, no… Just… no… Stop it.
Yours, Mark-Anthony Tuffen
PS. WHAT THE FUCK DOES TUMBLR EVEN MEAN?!